So i made it to the plane somehow, i need to calm down so i order whisky to wash down codeine with. A man with an expensive suit start talking about some boring business convention. I pretend that I have an ear lock so I can rest a little bit.
Barely close my eyes when it’s time for landing, the pilot announces: ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Paris!
I am taking a cab straight to the hotel, at the neighbourhood I usually like to stay. Jacques Bonsergent is one of my favourites, near by the canal Saint Martin and about 15 minutes to the Quartier Latin.
At the hotel the same dramatic greetings, handshake, hug, kiss on the both cheeks, chitchatting while checking in, one more handshake and finally I am in my room.
Standing there, by the window, it’s hard to decide, lorazepam or diazepam? Why the hell should I choose anyway so I take them both.
I check out my phone: E-mail, G-mail, Messenger, Tinder, Facebook, WhatsApp, Telegram, Instagram, why the fuck do I have all this shit install? I really don’t know.
I get all dizzy and before I know it I fall in sleep, shortly after, not that short, more precisely 6 hours later, hotel phone rings, I guess I was smart enough to order a wakeup call, great.
Jump in to the shower, quick wash, brush my teeth, shave my face, shave my dick, jump out of the shower, looking at the watch, 12 minutes only, god damn that’s good.
Getting dressed, call a cab, while waiting hitting the minibar, I love those little bastards: whisky, Vodka, Bacardi, they are so cute so you have to drink them all.
Cab driver ask me where, "to the Clichy" I say, he laughs, I guess he knows to well about all the crazy shit, that is going on there.
The first strip joint is so boring that I almost get a nose bleed, the second one is better but to crowded, man, it is not my day today, so I decide to get some herbs before I try my luck one more time.
I enter some shitty bar with bartender that looks like a fucking retard, I don’t want to go around the subject so I tell him as it is. “I need some high-quality herbs and I need it A.S.A.P”
The retard goes back to the kitchen and comes back with another retard that looks like him but with crossed eyes, I guess they are cousins or something. I give him the money, he gave me the herbs, I say: “Tata” and leave.
Ten minutes later, on my way to the third strip joint, I decide to check the quality, I lit it up, inhale, hold in, hold in some more and exhale. What the fuck is this? I mean I can’t work with this shit!
I know that is not a smart idea to go back but it’s the principle of the matter. I mean if I let it go, our children will be next, so I go back.
I enter the shitty bar again; the retard bartender is standing there so I tell him what I feel about the whole thing. He goes to the kitchen and comes back with the other retard with crossed eyes. So once again I told the both what I feel about the whole thing.
Nothing, absolutely fucking nothing, unbelievable, they just staring at me without saying a word. This shit is going nowhere so I decided to go.
I am out now and getting a few steps from of the shitty bar while calling a cab to the strip joint. Suddenly i hear the bar door opening hefty and somebody running behind me, I look back with the phone at my ear when some fucking big foot punching me in the face.
This punch caught me off guard, I mean I am flying at one direction and my phone flying at opposite direction, and i see everything in slow motion.
So the punch is so hard that I am airborne, I look down and it feels like I am few feet’s up in the air. It’s not much to do about it so I decide to think happy thoughts.
Hotline Bling, that music video is really something. I imagine myself in the owl hoodie and the Timberland yellow boots. Dancing my way in to the night club while girls going crazy by my moves and throw their pussy on me.
I just can’t stop smiling, I look down, what a hell, I still have a couple of feet’s left to the ground so I go back to happy thoughts.
Back to Hotline Bling music video, I mean all those big size juicy hot chicks, god damn, big ass, big tit, big lips, why not, they got feelings too you know, they deserve to be happy too.
And suddenly I hit the ground with such a force that I feel my balls migrate far away from me, and I notice that I still, despite the circumstances holding a bag of herb in my left hand.